Belated, Deflated

Deep breathes are in order. Why do I continue to care about what he thinks? Instead of saying something nice about the hair, he suggested a slightly different look. How irritating. He doesn't believe in giving me shallow compliments. I didn't know how to react. Thanks? Should I appreciate your brutal honesty? No, I didn't have a special occasion to come see you. I didn't bring any good news. I just want us to spend time together. I wasn't sure if he got that, but whatever. The tone was set. We didn't have a particularly good time today. 


There was no embrace. No tenderness. Plenty of passenger side driving and unsolicited advice about how to change and improve. The most disturbing act has got to be his public nose blowing that usually happens soon after we eat. He did it right next to my car in the parking lot. Really? Must you blow snot with your hand like that and proceed to touch everything? I had chastised him before about doing this. I handed him a tissue as soon as he climbed into the car. Sick. Just cut it out once and for all.


The drive back was irritating as well. He made a remark about how he knows me more than I know him. Pardon me pops, but you really don't know me. Sometimes I wonder if you know me at all. You were barely there for my upbringing. Why in the world do you think you could influence me now, especially when you constantly claim to be unhappy? The best thing you could do for me is to be happy and take care of yourself. I don't need to know how I should cut my hair, where I should park, which turn to take, how to eat, dress, drive, temper my frustration. Yes, I do seem to treat my friends better than my folks. Good observation. So be my friend why don't you? Stop parenting me. That opportunity has already passed and cannot be resurrected. Ever.


When he climbed out of the car, I noticed the difficulty and made a light-hearted comment about buying a lower car next time. "You shouldn't cater to my needs. I don't know how much longer I will live or how many more times I'll get in and out of your car." And there goes the knife twisting.